Video Games

Today kids spend a great deal of time playing video games.  We will constantly read how too much time playing video games is not good for children.  It keeps them from being physically active, using their imaginations, can cause eye strain, and can cause them to lose touch with the real world.  However with proper monitoring and parent involvement their can be a proper role for video games.

One thing is clear, children should never be given unmonitored unlimited access to video games, otherwise that will be all they do.  These games can be highly addicting, I myself find it difficult to pull myself away when I am playing.   We set limits for our children, approximately 60 minutes every other day during the week and a little bit more on the weekend. It helps to set a timer so that children know up front when they will be expected to turn the games off to avoid arguments. Giving additional time can be used as a reward for children.

One way to avoid having your child avoid socializing during video games is by playing something the whole family can play.  This turns video game time into family game time and the game can be enjoyed together.

We sometimes will let our children play handheld games at restaurants while they are waiting for their meal for some peace and quiet, however we do not do this a hundred percent of time because we still like to talk to our children at meals. Using these from time to time however can ease the challenge of eating out.

Finally I cannot stress this enough.  Please be sure you monitor what games they are playing.  There is a reason there are rating scales of the back of games. A school age child should not be playing games marked T-for teen or M-for mature.  Children often will emulate what they see in the games and some of things portrayed in these types of games are certainly not content younger children are ready to be exposed to.  While our technology advances the parents role does not change.

Refelcting on Father's Day

When I woke up this morning I was greeted by hugs and kisses and 2 boys who couldn't wait to give their father a wallet they picked out.  It is not what they gave that mattered it was what was in their hearts.  There is truly something wonderful about the admiration and unconditional love children give to their parents and how son's look up to their dads.  Parenting is the hardest job in the world.  It comes with never ending sacrifice, putting others ahead of yourself and showing patience even when it seems like the entire house could be upside down. 

 One true fact overshadows all the rigors of being a dad, that is the fact that in this one role no matter who you are, not matter your standing, no matter your color and no matter your background you are your children's hero.  Daddy can do anything, Daddy can fix anything and Daddy knows the answer about everything.  In my case, I apparently know the history of every super hero and Star Wars character, even those that do not exist.  When you lay your head down tonight as a dad place a smile across your face because their is someone counting on you to be your best everyday and that is something to smile about.  So this is a salute to all fathers and what they do to stand as shining leaders of their families and examples of manhood for their children to aspire to.

Youth Sports

My sons have now hit the age where they have gotten involved in youth sports. My oldest just finished his second season of soccer and had previously played a season of t-ball. My youngest will start soccer in the fall. In going through these seasons there are several thoughts that come to my mind:

1) It's not about what sport you want them to play:

I am not a soccer fan, I don't follow it other then when the USA plays in the World Cup. I couldn't name a single player. I have always enjoyed baseball. What is interesting is that I did not enjoy my son's season of t-ball. He basically stood around in the field waiting for the ball and got up to bat twice a game. He did not learn one bit about baseball. No wonder the team would get bored and start playing in the sand. It was clear that many 5 year olds may have a problem keeping focused with so little action. On the other hand my son loved soccer, he was constantly running and the whole team was involved. I found that since he enjoyed it I enjoyed.

I played little league baseball when I was a kid and I'm sure when they are older I will let them try again if they want to, but for now they are happy with soccer and that works for me.

2) Help the coach, and recognize the good ones:

I believe the best youth sports coaches are the ones who understand that it is about the love of the game, not winning the championship. A good coach should have the knowledge to teach the game but also the understanding of the age group they are working with. Coaches that yell and scream at their teams when they are losing have no place in youth sports. I recall during one of my older sons soccer matches the other coach trained his team to throw the ball in before the other team was ready. These were six year olds playing, what kind of sportsmanship is that teaching.

3) Chances are you do not have next Hall of Famer out there:

While every pro athlete had to start somewhere the large majority of the children playing are not going to the pros. When you are watching your child play, cheer for all the kids, enjoy seeing your kid have fun and celebrate the little successes. If big success drops in, it is just an extra blessing.

4) Set priorities:

Do not lose sight of the importance of family, school , rest and health. These things are more important than winning at youth sports.

5) Make sure the league is developmentally appropriate and safe:

For example there is a proper age when it is ok for kids to learn how to head a soccer ball. Throwing a curveball in baseball at too young an age can ruin an arm. You need to look out for your child's safety in whatever sport they are playing.

6) This is a great avenue for kids to socialize and learn teamwork.

In closing I will say it brings me great pleasure watching my kids on the field, win or lose. As long as they are having fun and trying their best that is all we can hope for as parents.