Back to School Shopping

One question that comes to mind a lot with many parents is what to buy when children head back to school. Here are some tips:

1)Supplies- Unless requested by the teacher avoid bulky binders, they never fit in a desk and as the rings get loose it turns into a big mess. Spirals and clip folders work well along with standard composition books. When dealing with pens and pencils, if there are 10 in a pack send your child in with 4 and keep the rest in reserve. Avoid supplies that may create a distraction. Many schools make their supply lists availble before the school year begins so try to get a hold of the list

2) Clothes- You definitely want to avoid a phone call from the school office because your child is in violation of dress code. Students should be dressed for learning not a fashion show. Items like ripped jeans, pocket chains, things with spikes, sleeveless shirts and backless shoes are usually prohibited. Students also need to wear their pants at their waste, school is not the place to show off their underwear. Shirts should cover the torso and skirts should be longer than mid-thigh. While Crocs are not considered a backless shoe, I don't think it is a smart footwear choice for school based on the risk of tripping and falling if some steps on the shoes back.

3) Cell phones are very useful communication devices but they need to be off and out of site during class so they do not distract learning. If your are giving your child a phone to keep on them make sure they understand the school policies governing their use on campus to avoid confiscation.

Hope these few tips are useful.

Managing Childrens Behavior-Calmness, Consistency and Communication

One of the challenges parents have with children of all ages is managing their child's behavior. The key with dealing with behavior starts with the three C's, calmness, consistency and communication.

When a situation arises that a behavior problem is occurring staying calm is key. You need to keep your wits about you in order to solve the behavior in a way that makes your child understand that you are not mad at them, but you are upset with their specific behavior at that time. When parents lose their cool it communicates a degree of anger and can cause fear in the child. You do not want your relationship with your child based on fear. It is just as easy to put a child in time out calmly as it is to scream and yell when doing a time out. If you are about to lose it walk away and take a deep breath compose yourself them handle the situation. Think about how it would feel to have a 7' 350 pound massive lineman yelling in your face, that is how a small child feels when it is done to them.

Consistency is simple, say what you mean, mean what you say. Keep rules and expectations clear and don't change them every day. Teach what you expect and your kids will follow. If expectations keep changing what are the kids supposed to learn? If you say you will do something do it. Don't make a promise you can't keep. Don't threaten to give a consequence that you can't follow through on.

Communication between parents is key otherwise the kids wise up and start to play one against another. My wife didn't tell me she only wanted my 3 year old to have a certain amount of stuffed animals on the bed, so when my son asked for a few more I thought it was fine. When my wife came in she got upset because she had told my son something else and I got upset because I felt like she was undermining me in front of my child over something that was not a big deal. Had we communicated that situation would have gone a lot smoother.

Adventures In Potty Training Part 2

Wow, even I can do it. That's right my 3 year old who was so stubborn about the potty to the point of holding it for 16 hours has finally gotten it. He has gone from fighting going on the potty to actually going. Here are some facts about potty training that I discovered:

1. This is the only time as a grown adult you can talk about poopy and pee pee in public and not feel self conscious about it.

2. Discussing the sound effect poopy and pee pee make with my son was not something on my wife's wish list. However he's going now, it worked. He also pretty good at the sounds.

3. Target might as well hold a 2nd mortgage on my house for all the positive rewards my wife has bought to assist with potty training.

4. When boys first learn to go they sit. Gentlemen there is a really good reason to stand. It's potty time not pee pee spritz fest.

5. More toilet paper does not get you cleaner unless you use it in the right spot.

6. If your child is a boy, you might as well teach him now to put the seat back down and save the aggravation.

7. They make green frog soap.

8. Seriously it is a wonderfully proud feeling when your child has a feeling of success after trying to learn something new.

It certainly beat diapers. Potty training parents, there is a light at the end of tunnel. Remember to flush and wash your hands.

I Gotta Watch My Sports!

Ok let's get real. I'm sure most of the Dads out there were like me ,watching a ton of sports before kids. So how do we handle following our favorite teams now. Bottom line is our sports viewing time is severely compromised once children come along. It is a very tricky balancing act. I have resorted to the good old DVR/TIVO. I'm a huge Miami Dolphin and Florida Panther Fan and this device has helped me on a number of occasions. On football Sundays I pause the start of the 1:00 games until 1:15 which is nap time for my kids and I them watch the game. When my 3 year old wakes up he comes to the T.V. and says "Miami Dolphins" and will sing the fight song. So I manage to catch the game and already have one in training. Hockey is a little harder because it is 82 games, but once the kids are asleep and I have spent some alone time with the wife (hint hint) I then start the game. If I have to get up early I usually fast forward to the goals and the interesting looking plays in the first two periods and watch the third. This season I saw 95% of the goals scored in Panther games with to young toddlers. My older one actually loves hockey and will watch the NHL network if I put it on or the panthers. He has gone to games with me and loves it. Although he thinks we go to eat a big pretzel and drink diet coke, but he does enjoy the game. I have him saying "Panther's Goal" when promoted. So he is a hockey nut in the making.
It can be done stick with your teams and stick with your sports their is always a way.

Rules of Sleep for Happy Parents

The following rules need to be in place for the sanity of daddy's
(Please note if mommy is pissed there is no sanity)

1. If you have a newborn take turns getting up.
2. Stagger the feedings, the one who is stuck with the 2:00 feeding should not do the 11:00 and 6:00am. feedings.
3. Take turns sleeping late, don't be a sap and be the one who get's up early every day.
4. Handle severe meltdowns and illness together.
5. Watch your children sleep, their cute and their ours. It makes it easier.
6. Remember they will sleep through the night someday.
7. Don't pretend to sleep when the baby cries in the hopes that the other person gets up, your already awake.
8. Its ok to take an afternoon nap when the kids take theirs.
9. If nobody sleeps then chances are nobody is having sex.

Just a few things that helped us have restful nights. Sweet dreams.

Adventures in Potty Training

We've taken the plunge. After several false starts we have taken my 3.5 year old out of diapers and have him using the potty. As an educator I am off for the summer, but my wife works. It has fallen to me to handle the toilet learning during the week. The world must be going crazy. We started this past Saturday and my son had success going pee pee twice in the day, he has been very stubborn about holding it. Sunday we started the day in underwear but after he did not go for 16 hours we switched back to diapers fearing it would be unhealthy. As soon as he was in the diaper my son asked, "can I let it go" and it was Niagara Falls with a log. We called the doctor who told us keep going with training because he is showing the ability to hold it and is ready.
Today was my first day on my own with the potty training. After sitting on the potty in the morning and going some my son decided that he would follow my dogs example and pee on the floor by the front door after we walked our pug. No big deal I just cleaned it up showed him the potty and continued are day. We had another afternoon accident after he sat on the potty and let some pee out, obviously not enough. He went while I was holding him, so I smelled wonderful. I was very proud however that my son did seem to understand that he had an accident and needs to try to go the potty.
While this is testing my patience I have found some ways to cope:

• Have fun, today my wife and I gyrated around singing "push the poopy out" and yes we looked and felt ridiculous.
• Stay positive and remember that the accidents are part of learning.
• Play in between potty stints to keep the day fun.
• Never make your child feel bad for an accident
• Read stories while your child is on the potty

To be continued same potty time, same potty channel. Till then stay dry.

Out to Eat

One of the biggest challenges we have is going out to eat with our children. This truly applies to younger kids. Ours are 3 1/2 and 2. My wife and I tell ourselves that if one of us suggests going out to eat the other needs to apply a good swift kick to the backside. Sometimes we still end up out, some meals we have a great time and some turnout to be a disaster. We have some tricks of the trade that do seem to help:

1. Ask the server for some crackers or bread right away so the children can already be busy munching.
2. Bring a bag of tricks with small things they can be entertained by (crayons, coloring books, simple toys that don't take up a lot of space, books.)
3. Make sure all meals come out at the same time. Its easier if they are eating while you are trying to eat.
4. Have a good idea what you want to order so the service can be speedy.
5. Let your kids know that any hopes of dessert rest on them finishing their meal and behaving in the restaurant ( I know this is bribery, but it does work.)
6. If things get tough stay calm and remember it is only one meal out of a lifetime.

Honestly, it is wiser to eat home, cheaper and saves gas. But if you must eat out try my suggestions above to help ease the pain.

Home Sweet Home

I just returned from a business trip away. The trip was also going to give me some alone time to relax without worrying about parenting duties. This trip however helped me come to the realization that fatherhood is something that is permanently wired in you.
I have thought in the past about my single life, a time I was only responsible for myself and how wonderful things were without the pressure of raising a family. I remembered how I could do whatever I wanted when I wanted to do it without concern for another person. Perhaps some Dads might want that back. Strange enough when I was alone on this trip I didn't know what to do with myself and did not feel complete. I missed my wife and my boys more than I thought I would. I thought I would cherish the alone time. While some time is nice I need my family to make me whole. I'm happy to be home.

Craig

Parenting for the Average Joe Dad!

I would like to welcome you to Dealing with Daddyhood. I'm a father of 2 wonderful boys ages 3.5 and 2. While it is quite challenging, it is immensely rewarding. There are days I feel like "Superdad", and days I feel overwhelmed. Like most Dads I work all day and then come home and do my best. I realized that the quote "Superdad" is rare and that all of us average Joes turn out to be pretty special dads by doing our best.

So in this blog I intend to share some advice, stories, various bits of information that we Dad's as normal guys would enjoy. This blog is not for the SuperDads that somehow miraculously change every diaper, do every feeding, cook every meal, and give every bath while cooking a souffle in the kitchen. This is for guys who do their best to help out moms by doing their fair share and yes sometimes a little more to make the misses happy which can be worth it down the road (We'll discuss that later.) Hope you enjoy, thanks.